


Behind Her Beskar

by NotesFromSarah



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Canon Compliant, Character Study, Domestic, Drabble Collection, Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Friendship, Gen, Introspection, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Secrets, Space Family (Star Wars: Rebels), Trust
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-12
Packaged: 2021-03-14 06:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29166633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotesFromSarah/pseuds/NotesFromSarah
Summary: On the surface Sabine was a lot of things: Mandalorian warrior, former Imperial, weapons expert. Under her armor, however, she's a lot more: an artist, a Rebel, a loyal friend. Her family means everything to her and she'll do whatever it takes to defend it. A collection of 100-word drabbles exploring the interior life of Sabine Wren. Canon compliant.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Sabine Wren, Hera Syndulla & Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus & Sabine Wren
Comments: 20
Kudos: 33





	1. KANAN'S SECRET

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Star Wars: Rebels

22 Pickup

"Twenty-two pickup? What does that mean?" Sabine clutched her injured arm, blaster fire flew around them.

Kanan took two cylinders from his belt and locked them into one piece. "It means staying under cover while I provide a little distraction until Hera gets here."

"Kanan, you'll get killed if you go out there!" Sabine couldn't see how he would survive.

"Just stay where you are," Kanan ordered. Turning to face the stormtroopers he raised the cylinder. A blue blade appeared and Sabine understood.

Blaster bolts pelted toward Kanan, Sabine was sure he was going to die.

Kanan raised his lightsaber.

An Enemy

Sabine and Kanan sat at the table on _Ghost_. The air was tense.

"A Jedi?" Sabine's eyes widened in horror.

"Yeah," said Kanan. He watched her reaction closely.

The Jedi were the enemies of Mandalore. She'd heard that all her life. "You lied to me."

"I know." Kanan didn't pretend he didn't. "I wanted to protect myself and everyone else."

"I never would have joined you if I'd known you were a Jedi." She reeled from the thought that she'd betrayed Mandalore again.

"Sabine, just listen," Kanan started.

"No." Sabine rose and left the table. "I won't do this again."

Talk It Out

"Can we talk?" Kanan leaned in the doorway to Sabine's room.

"About what?" Sabine was frosty.

"About how you feel about me being a Jedi."

"I don't feel anything." A lie.

Kanan was earnest. "Sabine, I know it's not easy for you to accept."

"No, it's not." Sabine turned to him finally. "I'm Mandalorian, do you know what that means?"

"Yeah." Kanan sighed. "But you're also more than that, just as I'm more than my past."

Sabine didn't know what to think.

"Do you trust me?" Kanan asked.

She didn't want to trust a Jedi, but Kanan? "Yes," she said.

A Friend

The next time the lightsaber appeared, Sabine was ready. Kanan deflected the bolts and gave Sabine the cover she needed to aim her shots with precision.

Sabine gunned down a trooper who was trying to get an angle on Kanan, the trooper's finger squeezed the trigger one last time. The bolt came faster than she could react, but Kanan was there. His sword blocking the bolt.

"We make a good team, kid," Kanan called over the battle. He wielded the blade with amazing speed and accuaracy.

"Sure do!"

And they really did. A Jedi and a Mandalorian, who'd have thought.


	2. AT HOME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Star Wars: Rebels

A Little Trim

"Why doesn't Hera cut your hair?" Sabine combed her fingers through the brown tresses.

"I tried that once, she just could get over chopping off a part of someone's head." Kanan laughed. "Besides, I've seen your work, I trust you'll do a good job."

Sabine snipped through the uneven ends, probably from him trying to cut it himself. "Do you want me to add a little color too?" She didn't think he'd go for it. "I think a few yellow and orange streaks would look good. Maybe purple?"

Kanan laughed again. "Nah, just a trim, please."

Sabine smiled. "Sure thing."

Art

Sabine was nervous. She'd never shown anyone her art before. Before it'd all been in her mind. She'd done some pieces secretly, but now she was ready for others to see. She swallowed. Actually, maybe she wasn't ready.

"It's really good." Kanan's voice was genuinely admiring. "Those colors are – wow."

"Yeah?" Sabine's voice was too eager. She sounded like a little kid who wanted attention.

"Yeah." Kanan traced one of the lines. "The simple lines and clean mosaic reminds me of," his voice faltered. Changing course, he smiled. "Well, it's really good, I'm impressed."

Kanan's compliment filled her with confidence.

Cleaning Up

Sabine sat on the floor near the table while Kanan prepared supper. She scrubbed at her armor, trying to remove a sticky residue from their most recent adventure.

Kanan cast an eye in her direction. "How's it going?"

"Not great." Sabine continued her vigorous scouring.

"Try the dish fluid." Kanan tossed her the bottle.

Sabine caught it and gave it a try. "Hey, this works great! Where'd you learn about this?"

"It's a little trick I learned during the war." Kanan returned to chopping vegetables.

"From the clones?" Who else would he have learnt it from?

"Yeah," said Kanan quietly.

Tea

It had been a long day, Sabine was dead tired and aching after their run. They had managed to make the pickup. Barely.

"You doing okay, kid?" Kanan put a firm hand on her shoulder.

"I'll be fine." Sabine closed her eyes. She needed about eighty hours of sleep.

"Okay," Kanan said. He left and returned a few moments later. A warm mug was pressed between her hands.

"What's this?" She opened her eyes.

"You look like you could use a cup of hot tea."

Sabine sipped the drink. It was good. She might have to take up drinking it.

My Almost Dad

Kanan wasn't her dad, he could never replace her real father, but in a lot of ways he was close. She had come to depend on his guidance and wisdom, and even laugh at his corny jokes. He could always tell when something was bothering her and give her the space she needed to talk about it.

"Kanan?" she peeked into his room, a lot on her mind.

"Yeah?"

"I need some advice, do you have a minute?" Sabine fidgeted with her vambrace.

Kanan waved her to come in. "For you, kid, I've got all the time in the galaxy."


	3. SAFE AND SOUND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pre-Star Wars: Rebels

Paints

Sabine's relationship with her mother was...complicated. Her relationship with Hera was the opposite. Where her mother was harsh and demanding, Hera was understanding and kind. Hera let her bloom in her own time.

"I brought you something." Hera entered Sabine's room. "I hope you like it."

Sabine stared as Hera upended a sack of paints on her desk. "Hera, there's so many colors. I can't possibly pay you back."

"I wouldn't dream of asking you to." Hera smiled. "Your art makes this place more beautiful to live in, you're really the one doing me a favor.

"Thanks," said Sabine shyly.

Advice

"Hera, how did you know you liked Kanan?" Sabine had been thinking hard about a certain young man.

Hera gave her a knowing look. "I didn't know right away, feelings like that can take time to identify."

"And Kanan, how did you know he liked you?" Sabine asked.

Hera laughed. "Kanan wasn't exactly good at hiding his feelings. A less awkward person might be harder to pick up on."

"You think Kanan is awkward?"

"He was when I first met him." Hera smiled. "But, he's a lot better now. And if you want to know how someone feels, ask them."

Errands

"Do you want to come into the city with me?" Hera asked as she prepped her speederbike.

"Sure." Sabine grabbed her own bike.

"I thought we'd get supplies, and also a break from the guys."

Sabine hopped on her bike. "What, you don't enjoy listening to Zeb burp the Imperial Anthem?"

Hera rolled her eyes at the thought. "Not really."

In town they walked through the market. "This is pretty." Hera touched a silk scarf longingly.

"You should buy it." Sabine encouraged.

"I don't need frivolous things." Hera sighed.

"Then I'll get it for you." Sabine put down the credits.

Relax

"You're tense." Hera ran a hand over Sabine's shoulders. "Anything I can do about it?"

Sabine glanced up at Hera. "Not really, I'm just tired." It wasn't true.

Hera began to gently rub Sabine's shoulders. "I can tell you're nervous."

Sabine sighed. "I guess I am."

"You don't have to be." Hera worked her hands down Sabine's back. "You've got this."

Sabine wasn't so sure. Hera's hands felt good though. It reminded her of her childhood when her mother used to rub her back to help her relax before bed.

Hera patted her back affectionately. "I believe in you, Sabine."


	4. PASSING MOMENTS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set during Star Wars: Rebels, Seasons 1-3

I'm On It

"I'm on it!" Sabine said it so often it was almost her catch-phrase. It was her role in the crew. It was her role in life. Be quiet, be on it. When she joined the Imperial military she had wanted to help so much. She wanted to do good, to make a difference.

She hadn't.

Now she was trying to make it up. Trying to make it right, even if only in the smallest way possible. She did everything she could to be "on it," but was it enough?

"Sabine," said Kanan.

"I'm on it," she said. And she was.

Target Practice

"Breathe out, focus, then take your shot." Sabine demonstrated, firing neatly into one of the small canisters.

"I've been shooting at stuff a long time, you know." Ezra fired as well.

"Shooting at things and hitting them are two different things." Sabine pointed to the canister that was still intact. "I thought you wanted to learn to shoot better."

"I do, I just didn't know you'd take it this seriously." Ezra aimed another shot.

"When it comes to things that can be the difference between life and death, I always take it seriously." Sabine adjusted Ezra's grip. "Now try that."

Sparring Match

"You're pretty good, for a human." Zeb's taunt echoed through the cargo bay. "But no match for a Lasat."

"You want to test that out?" Sabine was breathing hard from her sparring session with Ezra.

"Yeah," Zeb growled.

Zeb was good, and in a test of pure strength he would have won every time. However, when it comes to fighting a Mandalorian they always have a few tricks up their sleeves.

"Hey, that's cheating!" Zeb complained.

"If you win it's not cheating, those are the Mandalorian rules," said Sabine.

"I think you're making that up," Zeb growled.

"Maybe." Sabine smirked.

Pistols

"Two pistols, I like it." Rex nodded approvingly at Sabine's blasters. "My own have gotten me out of more than a few tight spots back in the day."

"Yeah, I favor them for the blend of firepower and flexibility. The compact size makes them just about the best all-around weapon." Sabine loved showing off her weapons.

"You really know your stuff." Rex gave her an encouraging smile.

"Thanks," said Sabine as she turned one of her blasters over in her hands. "Weapons have kind of been my whole life, almost as long as I can remember."

Rex nodded. "Me too."

Repairs

"Sabine, can I get a hand here," Hera called down the hall.

Sabine hurried to help. Since Malachor Sabine had been helping Hera around _Ghost_ a lot more. She didn't mind. She could tell Hera was having a hard time adjusting. Everyone was.

Sabine crouched next to the panel, Hera pointed to the problem. "Get that loose and attach this," she handed Sabine a clamp, "then all our problems should be solved."

 _Ghost's_ problems, maybe, but not the crew's problems. Not by a long shot. Fixing _Ghost_ was easy, fixing up her little family again would be a lot harder.

By Touch

Sabine felt a profound sense of loss knowing Kanan would never see her art again. It was just another thing he'd been robbed of on that senseless mission. Kanan had never been any great lover of art, but he'd always encouraged and supported her.

Taking out an iron rod and her blow torch she set to work on a new creation.

"What is it?" asked Kanan as she pressed the sculpture into his hand.

"It's my new piece, I made it for you. Give it a feel."

Kanan's fingers traced over the object, after a moment he smiled. "It's beautiful."


	5. ADJUSTMENTS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during Star Wars: Rebels, Seasons 1-3

New Kid

"So, he's joining us?" Sabine asked Hera when they had a moment alone. "Ezra's staying?"

"It looks that way." Hera tilted her head and looked at Sabine curiously. "Does that bother you?"

Sabine sighed. "No, not really, I guess I'm just used to our family the way it is."

Hera patted Sabine's shoulder warmly. "We'll have to adjust, but I think he's going to need us – need Kanan – a lot."

"Why?" Sabine was puzzled. That kid didn't seem like anything special.

"Kanan says Ezra has Force powers, Kanan needs to help him."

"Oh." Sabine's little family was suddenly quite different.

Puppy Love

Sabine knew that Ezra had a crush on her. Just what she needed in her life, a kid crushing on her. Maybe if she ignored it he'd give it up.

"Hey, Sabine," Ezra said and that overly confident tone, "whatcha doing later?"

Sabine raised an eyebrow. "The same thing you are, scrubbing _Ghost's_ hull to remove the space barnacles."

Ezra's face fell, he struggled to recover. "Well, what about after that?"

"I'm going to paint, I don't know what you're doing."

"Maybe I'll come watch, be your muse." Ezra leaned on the doorframe.

"In your dreams." Sabine rolled her eyes.

Leaving Lothal

Sabine had no problem leaving Lothal, it wasn't _her_ home after all. Ezra was having a harder time. He didn't say anything, but his subdued demeanor said a lot more than maybe he realized.

"Hey," said Sabine. Ezra was sitting at the table, alone.

"Hey." Ezra's voice was flat.

"How you holding up?" Sabine sat down beside him.

"Okay. It's not like I lost anything valuable."

"Home is always valuable. I know how you're feeling. It hurts." Knowing that you were leaving never to return left a deep wound. She patted his hand, tentatively. "If you need me, I'm here."

New Normal

Kanan came back from Malachor blind. Ezra came back physically well, but internally very hurt. He blamed himself for Ahsoka's death. Sabine knew all too well what it was like to feel responsible for the deaths of others.

She didn't say anything to him, she knew he still needed space. However, she made sure to stick close by. Their relationship had never been one where they would confide in each other, but she wanted him to know that she was there if he needed her.

Catching his eye in the corridor she gave him a nod. She hoped he understood.

Stolen Time

Last time Sabine went to Concord Dawn, Kanan had been there. He had done things that Sabine had never believed anyone could do naturally. This time she had Ezra.

When Ezra had first joined the _Ghost_ crew, Sabine didn't have high hopes for him. He was too full of himself, not careful enough, and honestly, generally annoying.

That had changed. He wasn't a kid anymore. He'd grown up and gotten serious. Part of Sabine hurt for him, Ezra hadn't settled down because he'd matured naturally. He'd changed because that's what war does to you. It robs you of your childhood.


	6. FAMILY MATTERS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set from before Star Wars: Rebels up through Season 3

Discretion

At first, Sabine thought that Kanan was like her, someone needing a place to belong and a cause. He'd known Hera the longest, but their relationship seemed professional.

When Chop raised the alarm one night and everyone came to see what the problem was, Sabine only just registered that Kanan and Hera had come from the same cabin. When Kanan got hurt and Hera insisted on staying with him until he recovered, Sabine started to get the picture. Catching them kissing in a quiet moment confirmed everything.

Kanan was more than crew to Hera, they were just being incredibly discreet.

Cabin Fever

 _Ghost_ was damaged and the constant electrical storms on the planet had made repairs impossible. Everyone was stuck inside and Sabine was going crazy.

"Do you have to breathe so loud, Zeb?" Sabine's painting was interrupted by the Lasat.

"This is how I breathe," Zeb protested.

"Can you stop?" Sabine headed for her cabin.

Ezra suddenly strode into her path, Sabine stumbled into him. "Watch where you're going."

"You watch," snapped Ezra.

The corridor to the cabins was blocked by Kanan and Hera. Sabine shoved past them. "Get a room, you two."

Getting to her cabin, Sabine sighed in relief.

Reading Material

Sabine wasn't a big reader. Her reading was usually technical manuals and weapons schematics. When she had spare time she focused on her painting, but currently she was bored enough to turn to fiction.

Not sure where to start she plugged in several datacards from _Ghost's_ highly randomized book collection. Seemingly everyone who'd ever been a guest had contributed in some way.

Lando's left a high concept novella.

Hondo: a sentimental dystopian tome.

The princess left a horror novel.

Plugging in one of Zeb's datacards revealed a steamy romance. Intrigued, Sabine scrolled through the novel. Zeb was full of surprises.

Test of Wills

Chopper bullied everyone new. In Sabine's first encounter with the metal menace Chopper ran her over just as she was trying to climb the ladder from the cargo bay.

Next, Chopper stole her paints, wheeling around the ship spraying them everywhere. It'd taken Sabine days to clean properly.

Sabine was ready to show Chop who's boss. She left a trap and when Chopper came to wreak havoc she struck. Chopper screamed as it was electrocuted. Sabine slapped a restraining bolt onto the dome.

"You'd better stop bullying me, understand?"

Chop nodded.

"Good." Sabine loosed the bolt. "Now, go bother Zeb."


	7. TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during Star Wars: Rebels, Season 2. Seelos is the planet where Rex, Wolffe and Gregor were living in Season 2, Episodes 3-4.
> 
> This is the first thing I've ever written in first person POV, I generally prefer writing in third person but these drabbles just came out this way so I went with it.

I'm Not a Soldier

I didn't sign up for a war, I didn't sign up to be a soldier again. Neither did Kanan. How could Hera do this behind our backs? Didn't she know, better than anyone else, what we'd been through? Didn't she care?

Kanan left the briefing room angry and I don't blame him. I'm angry too. Hera chases after him, I wonder if she'll also chase after me?

I go to my room. It's my sanctuary, my safe place, or so I thought. It's not that I don't want to help, I do, I just don't want to be a soldier.

Not Again

It's not Hera who finds me, but Kanan. I'm painting in my room to steady my nerves. There's a wall waiting for color.

"Hey, kid, can we talk?" Kanan's voice is very soft.

"Hera lied to us." I'm hurt and furious.

"I know." Kanan doesn't defend her.

I wonder if he's feeling the same things I am. I try to release my panic through my paintbrush, but it's not working. I look at Kanan finally, my hands trembling. "I can't be a soldier again.

Kanan puts his arm around my shoulders, the gesture comforts me. "I know, I can't either."

Trust

Kanan trusts Hera, and I trust them both. So, it seems like we're doing this. We're part of the Rebellion now. I hope Ahsoka is really as wise and all-knowing as Hera thinks she is.

I'm willing to give her a chance, though, give this rebellion a chance. After what happened on Lothal I'm ready to make the Empire pay.

I'm about to leave for Seelos, Ahsoka finds me. "Hera tells me you're brave," Ahsoka says. "I'm sure she's right, Mandalorians are some of the bravest warriors I know."

Her words warm me, maybe I can trust her after all.

Ghosts

We survive Seelos, but Kanan isn't taking it the way I expected. He's usually able to at least pretend that things aren't bothering him, but not this time. He's quiet, lost inside his head. I know the feeling.

I was too young to remember what happened to the Jedi when the Republic fell. As a Mandalorian I probably wouldn't have cared. But I care about Kanan. I want to help him, but I know that's better left to Hera.

She'll ward off his ghosts. I hope I can do the same to my own. Being a soldier again isn't easy.

Secret Tokens

Kanan and Ezra are leaving and I'm afraid they won't come back. The only good thing is that Ahsoka is going with them, she won't lead them wrong.

Kanan is so focused he doesn't seem to realize that Hera is taking this hard too. She keeps giving him that look. It says she's afraid she'll never see him again. That look scares me more than anything.

I want to tell them goodbye, that I love them, to be careful. Mandalorian warriors don't do such things. I draw Loth-cats and secretly slip them into their belt pouches. Talismans for good luck.

The Protector

Ahsoka told Hera to leave Kanan to be tortured in Imperial prison. Ahsoka tricked Kanan into recruiting clones even after knowing what he'd been through. Ahsoka told Kanan to trust Maul. Now Kanan's blind. What did Ahsoka have against Kanan anyway? She's a hero because she's dead, but if she were alive I'd hate her.

I watch Kanan as he sits out by the fence every day. He's trying to cope with everything but it's not coming easy. I want to protect him, but there's nothing I can do. I feel so helpless. I've failed to protect my family. Again.


	8. TRIALS AND TRAVAILS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set during Star Wars: Rebels, Season 3.
> 
> This chapter is also written in first person POV as it just naturally flowed out that way.

Mandalorian Armor

Mandalorian armor protects and my armor is more than physical. It keeps me safe, but it also hides me, just like my personality. Sometimes I want to be different, to take it easy, but I can't. I stay hidden. It's the only thing I know how to do.

But then, Kanan hands me the Darksaber, tells me to use it. I have no choice, but I'm scared. The Darksaber can't pierce beskar, but it might just pierce me. I can't hold back if I'm going to use it. I can't hide anymore. I have to remove my armor for Mandalore.

Finders Keepers

The Darksaber is heavy in my hands and heavier on my heart. Could this really be the thing to unite Mandalore and encourage them to stand against the Empire? Kanan wants me to be ready to face all-comers, I'm not sure I'm ready to face anyone.

The Darksaber is supposed to be won in combat. I just picked it up off the ground. I didn't earn it. Whatever power it might have isn't mine to wield. Ezra said finders keepers. I found it. Once all Mandalore knows I have the Darksaber the keeping is going to be the hard part.

Hesitation

Kanan tells me I have to let go. To show myself. To give it my all. It feels impossible. Mandalorians wear armor for a reason, we don't want anyone to get in. The world out there is dangerous, but I can't keep hiding either. I'm stuck. My choice is be safe or fight.

I made that choice before for the Empire. I've regretted it ever day since. I made that choice again for the Rebellion. It's come with a heavy price. Now I must make the choice for Mandalore. Can I do it? Am I strong enough? I don't know.

Goodbye For Now

Kanan isn't good at hugging, neither am I for that matter. When you live your life in armor there's always a barrier there. When I decide to stay with my mother, I know it means goodbye for a while. I'm going to miss him and Hera, and the others.

He puts his arms around me for the last time before leaving. I know he loves me and is proud of me, I hope my real father, whenever I see him again, feels the same. Even if he doesn't feel that way, I know Kanan does, and that's enough for me.

Homeward Bound

It's amazing really, how sometimes a path that you think will lead you away from home forever manages to turn back on itself and lead you home again. Kanan and Hera found me during the most difficult time in my life. Now, because of them, the prodigal daughter returns to where she started.

I guess all of us are going home in some way or another. Kanan became a Jedi again. Hera reconciled with her father. Ezra wants to free Lothal. Zeb reconnected with the people he thought were gone forever. The universe is sending us home and I'm ready.


End file.
